December 2002                                                                                                                     Stephen A. Bugno

 

 

Notes from Ramadan

 

 

04      November 2002

 

Ramadan starts tomorrow at 5:16.  I’m going to get up.  I’m going to do my first Ramadan in Uzbekistan.  My host father said some prayers today and we did some omens.  The last night before Ramadan everyone eats osh they said.  So we ate osh.

 

09      November 2002

 

Ramadan—day four.  I’m getting moody.  I’m getting worked up over things I shouldn’t.  It could be the hunger.  People eat in the streets here.  They drink too.   Jordan tells me Morocco is different.  More people observe the fast there.  And as the sun goes down there’s chaos in the streets as people rush home to their families.

 

But there’s no chaos here.  Life goes on as normal.  When I refused breakfast the first morning of Ramadan, my host mother said the fasting was only for them, Muslims.  But I said no; I would do it to.  So she said they ate at four a.m.  I was up ready to eat at five a.m. that morning, fifteen minutes before sunrise, but I didn’t see any lights on and went back to bed.  I hadn’t realized they were up an hour earlier.  So without breakfast I fasted until sundown.  The next morning I awoke at four a.m. and ate walnuts, honey, cream, lamb, non, and meringue.

 

They say it cleans your system out.  The stomach gets totally emptied and then filled after sundown.  This happens everyday for the month.  Today the sun rose at 5:22 a.m. and set at 5:11 p.m.  The times are read from a special Ramadan card I bought from a bearded man at the entrance to the bazaar.  It has two prayers in there also, one being the words to say before breaking the fast in the evening and the other for after the last bite before sunrise. During these hours of daylight one may not partake of any food or drink, nor may he smoke, or have sexual intercourse with the opposite sex.  If the exact time is not known, one may hold a white thread next to a black thread.  When the two cannot be distinguished from one another, it’s permitted to eat.

 

The month of Ramadan moves throughout the course of the year.  Its beginning is determined by the appearance of the new moon and may last from twenty-eight to thirty days.  During its thirty-year cycle, the month may even coincide with the longest day of the year.  The month ends with a feast lasting three days.  My host family is going to Kazakhstan to celebrate with the grandparents.  I was invited but I can’t get a visa to go there.

 

14      November  2002

 

Fourteenth of November.  Thursday.  Day nine of Ramadan.  Sunset at 17:06.  Today was by far the most mentally challenging day of all.  Officials from Peace Corps in Tashkent came to Olmaliq for “site installation.”  We had a meeting with the mayor explaining our presence in the community followed by visits to all three of the schools and families hosting us.  And Uzbek hospitality offered us tea and food at all six of those stops.   We also stopped at a nice café for lunch.  So I sat at every one of those tables and refused to eat.  It makes a good conversation piece—sitting at the table watching everyone eat while they’re watching me not eat.

 

Then around five p.m. came one of those unique moments of culture here—something that I appreciate more and more every time they come around.  But these cultural/religious rituals are getting few and far between.  I decided to stay at John’s apartment to open rosa (fast) with his host father.  You “open” rosa when the fast is broken after sundown.  So we went into the television room and spread some mats to sit on and watched some program from the university in Tashkent.  The time on the screen said 17:02.  Four minutes to go.  We sat patiently and exchanged a few words.  We were the only ones fasting in the apartment.  As soon as those four minutes passed we moved into the living room and sat down beside the table.  He took out his Ramadan timetable and read the prayer to open rosa.  Immediately after the prayer we drank water from the same cup, first me and then him.  After water, a light meal is eaten.  There was non on the table as well as tea, somsa, Russian style salad, and chocolates.

 

After we ate a bit, the father left the room and John and I lingered at the table for long time drinking tea.  Then his host mother brought in two huge plates of osh and set them in the center of the table.  Then her teacher friend from school came in and sat down.  It was his host mom’s birthday.  I was told repeatedly to take more osh.  So I did each time.  Then we drank a little bit of wine and ate more.  Next came two cakes that the neighbors made.  After that it was getting late and I had to leave.  So I was walked to the corner by the host dad and as I was getting on the marshruka he told the driver I was a guest in their country from America.  In Uzbek, guest is the same word as foreigner.

 

 

21      November 2002

 

I am getting weaker and tired faster.  I still try to walk a lot.  Fasting is taking its toll.  I missed walnut breakfast this morning.  I wonder what I have to do to start hallucinating.  Maybe 36 hours without food— we’ll try that.  Siddhartha could do it.  Will that bring me closer to God?  Can I talk with the angles then?

 

25 November 2002

 

It’s 1425 and I don’t feel that old.  Mohammed would.  I’m only one of a billion people celebrating Ramadan.  Or supposed to be.  I wonder how many actually fast.  The sick, traveling, and pregnant may fast for the same number of days in another month.  I’m not any one of those, but I drank some water in the morning.  My alarm never went off.  What I mean is, I never set my alarm.  Four am is early.  Good thing Allah really isn’t paying too close attention to me.

 

 

27      November, 2002

 

I finished my last letter and was out the door at four o’clock.  I was going to the post office.  As I left the house I saw my little host brother and told him I was off to the post office.  Once there I bought some stamps and dropped my letters in the box.  At this point it occurred to me to walk over to John’s apartment, fifteen minutes up the street.  I figured it would be a good time to make some unauthorized long distance calls on his Peace Corps issued cell phone.

 

So I arrived at his house.  I wanted to be quick there so his family wouldn’t invite me to stay for dinner.  It’s nearly impossible to refuse an invitation here—especially during Ramadan when the fast is to be broken immediately at sundown.  I love to eat with them, and I do often, but this evening I felt like I should be home with my family.  So I quickly made my calls and was about to leave when his host brother came in the room.  He invited me to go to his Aunt’s house for a big dinner to break the fast.  He said there would be lots of guests.  I thought about it for a second—hesitated, then agreed to go.  How could I say no?  I just knew I was hesitating because I expected to go home to eat.  But in this country you can’t leave the house without expecting your plans to change.  You can’t leave the house without expecting to get invited into somebody’s home to eat

 

So together we walked over to his aunt’s house.  At the front door we took off our coats and shoes.  Then over a basin we held our hands as a man poured water from a metal jug.  We rinsed and dried.  There was one man there that we greeted before we sat around the table on mats on the floor.  Then one by one men came in and sat.  We greeted each one with a handshake and sat back down.  For each new person that sat down we held our hands in front of us, said a prayer, and then wiped our hands down over our face.  This is called an omen.  It is also done after the meal. They were all men that came.  So we sat there and began to eat.   Non, somsa, walnuts, cream, honey and lots of other food were on the table.  Then, like always, the osh came.  John and I didn’t do much talking with these men and we avoided talking amongst ourselves for the most part.  On the television was Taxi, a French film dubbed into Russian.  The movie is hugely popular among the folks here.  It was strange.  The centerpiece of the evening seemed to be the film.  So we sat there and watched until some of the men left.  Then a while later the rest of the men left until only the host and his brother remained.  At this point his family came in the room and sat.  Then we began talking with these people.  We went through all the usual questions and then went back to Taxi.  Soon it was getting late and I had to leave.

 

06 December 2002                                                                                                **names have been changed**

 

The night before had been freezing.  The house was even cold.  So cold I couldn’t prepare the next day’s lessons.  My only concern was staying warm.  When you’re trying to survive, you can't thrive.  So the lessons weren’t prepared.

 

Morning came.  I didn’t want to leave my warm bed.  I could see my breath in the room.  Under all those covers was one of only two warm places.  The other was the shower—so I went there.  When I woke up at four o’clock it was still dark—dark and cold.  This would be the last four am breakfast in the series of thirty for Ramadan.

 

I put on lots of layers and walked to school.  The wind was ruthless, but I never turned my head.  My hat and hood kept my vision strait ahead.  I decided it was too cold for a shirt and tie.  This executive decision came from the fact that my students keep there hats and coats on for the entire day at school.  So do I.  At third period, my seventh graders came in the classroom and remained standing for some reason.  So I started jumping up and down in place and saying, “jump, jump, jump.”  The lesson was to add er to verbs.  So I wrote jumper on the chalkboard.  A student pointed to himself and called out “jumper!”  My day was made right there.  After that point I was happy I came to school.  We followed with a list of every er word we could think of and before we knew it our lesson was over.

 

By this time my toes were becoming numb.  Two more lessons followed and then Madina Opa came in and said our day was done.  She asked me if I had any plans for the weekend.  I thought for a minute and couldn’t think of anything.  She asked if I wouldn’t come to Nurabod.  She said everyone would be there.  Without any further hesitation I said I would.  My host family was going to Kazahkstan.  This was a holiday weekend.  Tomorrow would be Hiatt—the feast to end Ramadan.  I remember reading in my book about Islam that “one should not avoid the company of others on this holiday.”  If she hadn’t asked me, I would have been sitting alone in a cold room for this holiday—not what Muhammad had intended.  She said I should go home and gather what I needed and then we could go.  You have to be ready for anything around here.  You have to be flexible.  So after thirty minutes I returned and we left school.  Out of work at one o’clock on Thursday—not to return until Monday morning. Life is ok.

 

We had one stop before going to Nurabod—the bazaar.  As we were walking there my mind was moving much faster than my feet.  Where was it I was going?  Nurabod?   Where is that?  Somewhere up the valley?  Who is everybody that is going to be there?  Is this her home?  Is it a flat or a house?  She said we’d stay there until Sunday.  That’s all I knew.  This feeling of the unknown is the only thing that gets me excited anymore.  I need to be going somewhere I’ve never been before.  I need to be going somewhere I’ve never heard of.  I need to be going.  Always going.  This time it was Nurabod.

 

At the bazaar we filled up three huge bags with meat, rice, carrots, sweets, pomegranates, persimmons, and nuts.  We must have been there for an hour—me following her around like a like an obedient son at the supermarket pushing the cart. 

 

With hands full we made our way to the bus stop.  A light snow started falling.  This just complicated the freezing air filled with holiday traffic.  Sidewalks and roads filled.  Weather doesn’t make things any easier.  Everyone’s trying to get where they’re going—just as soon as they buy what they need.

 

We watched the small mob push and shove to get in three vans in a row.  We were cold, but patient.  Soon we tried more aggressively to get on one as well.  After a few unsuccessful attempts we managed to get one.  In fifteen minutes we were in Akhangaran.  We got out.  The day before a holiday, like in America, everybody is trying to get where they need to go by day’s end so they can wake up where they’ll spend the holiday.  Instead of the interstates being congested with traffic, the bus stops and roadsides are filled with people looking to get rides.  We waited for a marshruka for some time and then decided to get a cab for double the price. 

 

In fifteen minute we passed the Nurabod sign on the roadside and got out.  It’s a town of 5,000.  About 70 apartment buildings.  2 schools, 1 hospital, a bazaar, and a few shops.  Everybody knows each other.  Across the road, standing a few hundred meters away is the plant.   It produces electricity for the whole valley—Angren, Almalyk, Piskent, and so on, all the way down to Tashkent.  Three huge cooling towers and one tall smokestack sit in contrast to the close snow covered rocky hills.  The smokestack it tall enough that the air in town remains clean.  But heavy metals taint the ground water.  Nevertheless, it is a pleasant place to live.  Reminiscent of a bygone era, this small town is the epitome of the Soviet Union.  Today— just a barely breathing fossil—evidence of a social paradise that once was.

 

We walked a ways, weaving in between apartment buildings.  The sun was setting; hanging even with gray block apartments.  Opposite the sun were snow-capped mountains illuminated in shining orange.   They say to turn around 180 degrees in times of sunrise and sunset.  The lighting is always best then.  While everyone is watching the sun, you can watch what the sun’s watching.  I stopped and I watched, sneaking peeks in every direction.  I set my bazaar bags down.  I looked at the mountains.  I looked at the sunset.  I had a good feeling about this place.

 

We finally arrived at her apartment.  I took off my shoes and found a seat.  Her oldest son came in.  He introduced himself and sat down.  It was Jasur.  I was warned about him, but had forgotten.  He had never been the same since the Tajik civil war, she told me weeks ago.  He had seen people being killed.  So this is why she warned me about her own son.  He’s a talker.  I sat and listened.  I understood his Russian.  His clear deliberate style looked me in the eyes.  He was interested.  I answered all his questions, the last one being if I wanted any beer.  I did want some, so I said ok. 

 

We walked out to the store saying hi to almost everyone we passed.  One was a Korean girl, and she answered positively to an inquiry about whether or not she had salad at home for sale.  Another was a Russian in her late twenties.  He introduced her to me as his lady friend, whatever that meant.  Next we stopped at the tandor to see what was happening—but we didn’t need any bread.  Then over to the store we moved and got what we needed.  He bought me a beer.  He wouldn’t drink any though.  He said he was sickly and held his liver.  (That’s the only excuse around here in order to avoid drinking, besides saying that you are an alcoholic.)  He told the shopkeeper I was from America.  Then I threw some Uzbek at her.  She didn’t know what to do.  So she started speaking Russian.  I did as well. 

 

Then I followed him out into the early evening air.  It was even colder now and I was holding a cold beer.  I was drinking it quickly.  My hand was freezing.  The sooner it was finished, the sooner my hand could be warm again.  He tried to buy me vodka.  He said just a little bit.  I told him it wasn’t necessary.  I hadn’t eaten all day and consequently my stomach was empty.  At the time I didn’t realize, but this was the last day of fasting.  I had thought that fasting continued until sundown on Hiatt, but I was mistaken.  How ironic that I opened fast on the final day of Ramadan with a beer.  I hadn’t planned it that way.  I hadn’t drank for the month.  (Many fasters avoid alcohol for the entire month of Ramadan, even though Islamic law prohibits consumption anytime.)  I gave it up for Ramadan.  So I finished the beer in my hand and was already talking nonsense. 

 

Next stop was the Korean family to get the salad.  Usually you buy Korean salad at the bazaar.  But when you live in Nurabod, you just go to their house.  So we went in.  I sat down.  Jasur bought three bags: carrot, cabbage, and cucumber salads.  We chatted a bit.  The man there sat and read the paper almost unflinchingly.  The back of his hand was tattooed.  An older woman watched television.  Their apartment was simply decorated.  Then we left.  On the way back we started to jog.  Night had fallen about Nurabod.

 

 The next morning I slept until midday.  It was the first morning I could do so and I did.  I didn’t have to wake at four am to eat before sunrise.  It was nice—a full sleep.  I got out of bed and then had breakfast.  Then Sobit invited me for a stroll.  He is Madina Opa’s son-in-law.  He married her youngest daughter more than a year ago.  He has a bad character she warned me the night before.  At first he seems good—but he isn’t good for her.  They just had a baby.  She is 35 days old.  He left her for a month when she was pregnant to work in Russia.  You don’t do that, Madina Opa said.  I agreed.  He hits her too, she continued.  That’s not good either.  It was hard for me to believe that she could tell me that she knew this guy—her son-in-law—was beating her daughter.  He seemed nice.  He was nice to me and treated me well.  I couldn’t ignore him just because she told me those things.  As we walked I kept in the back of my mind what she had said.  He spoke Russian thoughtfully and clearly as we walked.  We shook hands with almost everyone we passed; this is Nurabod.  Everyone’s health was fine and they were all getting along well.  We made a stop at the butchers.  He needed to bring some meat home to his mother.  So he told the butcher two kilograms.  The man sliced a portion hanging off the metal hooks and weighed it.  He then laid the meat across a stump and with an ax broke the bones where they needed to be broken.   He wrapped it up and we continued along our way. 

 

Soon the apartment buildings stopped and across the road the Solvhos began.  There were all houses there, with large yards fenced in.  Most people have animals and gardens.  We got to Sobit’s house.  His granny was by the door and we greeted her and then went in the house.  We sat down and he showed me some pictures.  Then his mom came in.  She was surprised, but happy.  There was a foreigner sitting in her home.  We explained to her what I was doing in her country and her home.  I was working with his mother-in-law in School 19 in Almalyk as an English teacher.  They brought tea in to the table.  There was also homemade non and jam.  We talked while they heated up some osh.  His mom mentioned that temperatures were minus fifteen Celsius the other day.   It felt that cold but never got numbers before this point.  Then we ate.  After dinner we took a picture around the table.  His uncle came in just before this.  Everyone older is referred to as Aka and Opa (big brother and big sister) in this country so it’s impossible to tell relations.  Their cousins are sisters and their uncles are big brothers.  It’s interesting—but can be annoying when trying to find someone’s real relations.  His granny was happy.  His cousin was younger, and too shy to say anything, so I talked with the Uncle for a bit.  Soon Sobit and I left.  They had turkeys out in the yard.  We walked back over the same dirt-paved road we came down an hour early and finally crossed back over the railroad tracks.  This is the Tashkent—Angren line.  The iron road stops in Angren and only the paved road continues into the Ferghana Valley.  Ferghana is the most green and most heavily populated part of Uzbekistan.  But only taxis will take you there, there isn’t even bus service through the mountain pass.

 

The following morning I found myself once again strolling, this time with Jasur.  He is quite a character—a strange fellow to say the least.  Madina Opa says he’s either totally berserk or totally normal.  The week before he had been held at the police station for three straight days.  He told the police he had information about a crime that was committed.  They thought he had done it but he only knew of the person.  The sun was out and the sky was clear so I wanted to photograph the surrounding mountains and Jasur decided he’d come with me.   And he began talking the second we left the apartment.  He pointed to a vacant-looking apartment building.  There are lots theses half-filled apartments in town.  Out-migration has been the story since 1992.  Russians and Kazahks have left. Independence came.  There’s mostly Uzbeks left here now.  Others have gone to where life is better.  Or at least where they think life is better.  The problem is— when the Russians go back to Russia, they are Russians from Uzbekistan and Russian Russians don’t let them fit in like they could.  And if they stay here, they’re Russians in Uzbekistan.  Russians in a giant sea of Uzbeks in a newly Uzbek land. 

 

We passed a bathhouse building.  It’s half built.  On the day the Soviet Union ended, everything halted.  They were always building back then, Jasur said.  Then there was money.  Then the working class had decent salaries.  Now construction has stopped and salaries are a fraction of what they used to be.  Today many of these half-built buildings can be seen all over.  We reached school No. 2 and entered.  He used to work there and his mom too.  But she reached fifty and was eligible for pension, so she switched schools, moving to Almalyk.  Jasur taught military education.  He showed me his old room and the museum like wall hangings in the hallway.  We chatted with some teachers.  They couldn’t believe an American was standing in their classroom.  A kid said “hello.”  We walked back outside.  It finally warmed up.  The sun was shinning clear.  The snow on the walks was melting.  But the kids were out all over expecting the snow to never disappear.  They pulled the younger ones around on metal runner sleds.  They found a hill and the snow was so packed it was almost ice.  Kids like the snow—they always have.  It doesn’t matter where you are.  I was still glancing over at the mountains every few minutes.  They are phenomenal.  Jasur said there are wolves and other animals there.  Over those mountains is Tajikistan. He knows about Tajikistan—he grew up there.  But he’s Uzbek.  And he speaks Russian to me.  He tried going to University there and then to Russia, and then back to Tajikistan.  It wasn’t for him.  He just wanted to be a worker.  He asked how much a workingman earned in America. I told him.  He joked—I could go home, earn some money, and then send it back to him so he could buy a plane ticket to America.  We laughed.

 

I snapped a few more pictures and then we headed back.  At the entrance to the building I told him I wanted to stroll a bit more.  I convinced him that I’d be fine alone—I could recognize the apartment and not get lost.  I just wanted to be alone for a bit.  To see how people were living about Nurabod.  I walked slowly away.  I had dressed too warmly and I didn’t want to sweat, so I stayed slow.  I walked out to the roadside where the sign that stood: Nurabod.  I turned around and repeated my steps back, this time facing the mountains.  I liked this place.  I had a good feeling about it from the beginning.  But the thought occurs to me.  What if I lived here?  Would I grow tired of the small town or still love it.  It’s calm here.  I like that.  I found it difficult to think I wouldn’t like it here.  Soon I arrived back at the flat.  Madina Opa was there.  We sat on the couch and talked for a while.  Like with most people older than you, you do more listening than talking.  This was the case here.  Older people are wise because they’ve seen a lot and younger people are wise for listening to them. 

 

She met her husband at university—he was in the English faculty as well. They got along well but she used to tease him because he was a dark skinned Uzbek.  In retaliation he would say she was part Kyrgis.  Their institute was in Tajikistan.  Times were good back then.  She told me of her trip to the Caucasus and to Kazahkstan.  They went as volunteers.  Today, kids in Uzbekistan don’t know what volunteering is.  It was easier to travel back then.  Transportation was available and it was relatively inexpensive.  But people had money to spend then anyway.  And there were less logistical problems.  Going to Kazahkstan from Tajikistan wasn’t crossing International boundaries.  The people seem to look back with fondness on their former empire. 

 

But today they seem to like mustakalik (independence).  Or at least that’s what all the large public roadway signs say.  Independence, peace, and friendship.”  I’m almost certain the green and white that coats these public displays now is proudly covering a former red.